Lost treasures, and the darker side 1

Always, its me, me, me, me, i cannot  fathom why its always me who suffers ,all the time.
Everytime, something disappears, its always mine, always. And its more than my life, because i treasure it more than my whole life  . A tiny headphone or a tiny bracelet, it  disappears. And its always me who suffers. ūüė¶


But even worse, a darker side to each of us causes so much pain and anguish to others.  I know now.
Darker sides to your  beloved has terrible effects on you.


True , Sad , yet enlightening.

You can never judge a book  by its cover, hence similarly, you cannot judge a person by what the person shows he or she is .


Whenever i am  sad i dont know why i write, sometimes when im angry i cry myself out of my sadness, but today i dont, maybe its because i am listening to  Pagal Anukan by Shreya, maybe, or maybe i am happy i am sad.

Sometimes its nice to win by losing , a nice way to realise my life  is not over. 
Or just to tell myself nobody in this world can be trusted, nobody, anyone can hurt you, unknowingly, to the extent you have to cover up your sadness by saying you are sick.

Its a sad story whenever you think how much you could have if one ,only¬† one person would understand you so much, you could give up everything for that person… someone who would realise your mood swings¬† , your sadness, realises when you need a shoulder to cry on, or when you need a cup¬† of tea, will give you attention when you need it, listen to you, be honest with you . Somebody who would immensely have pure affection and understanding for you ,and will be understanding and take care not to hurt you. I know its too much to ask but after all that’s happening in my life, i would rather stay alone all my life. Than wish for such a person and end up with disappointment my whole life  .

Today Abha is in a fix, that Gruv has actually hurt her, i wish i¬† could¬† kill him for hurting her, Abha loves Gruv, but he only trusts his sister Uda, i wish everything gets ok¬† with her, she is¬† a nice person, and has gone through so much already in life, i hoped Gruv would have brought¬† hapiness in Abha ‘s life¬† but it turns out he is not what he seemed to be. Mr. and Mrs. Singh are devastated , arranged marriages suck!!   , i wish i never get married, if marriage is like this i would rather grow trees.

My whole life i have wished nothing like this happened
Today it’s happened
The bird has left its cosy nest
In a new world
In a new life

I have realised so much
In such little time
This fluttering birdy in my ribcage
Has flown away
In a land of stillness

For unmeasurable melancholy of a zillion years
An intimate ecstatic distress
A zillion  years i will wait but in an instant
My saltwaters drip uncontrollably as i think about my little birdie.

Myself i wish my life becomes better but now i am a new person.

Yes i have flaws, but i have some good as well. 

Plus que ma proprie vie, i will love the one person who will be my guide, and ultimate friend. If he exists .

My whole life i never stayed the same but today i promise i will become the best i can, and with help i will become a new person and give myself me.



* not in order of preference *
** ‚ÄěFavvouriite .

1.Saawali Si Raat by : Arijit Singh.** ** **
1. Jaaneman by Asha Bhosle. ** ** ** 
2.Na tum jaano na hum by Lucky Ali.** ** ** **
3.Gypsy by Shakira
4.A thousand years by Christina Perri.
5.Kuch is tarah by Atif Aslam.**
6. Colours of the wind by Ashanti.
7.Ajeeb Dastan Hai yeh by Lata Mangeshkar.
8.Jeene laga hoon by Atif Aslam and Shreya Ghoshal.**
9.Kamli by Sunidhi Chauhan.
10.Tera Rastaan Mein Chodon Na.  By Amitabh Bhattacharya.
11.Adele’s Someone like you.**
11.Adele ‘s Lovesong.
11.Adele ‘s Make you feel my love.**
12.Manchala by Shafqat Amanat Ali and Nupur Paant.*
14.Mujhe Ishq Se By Tulsi Kumar and Gajendra Kumar .**
15.Pareshan by Shalmali Kholgade .**
16.Firework by Katy Perry.
17.Raanjhana by Jaswinder Singh and  Shiraz Upal .**
18.Rang Jo Lagyo Re by Atif Aslam and Shreya Ghoshal. ** **
19. Read all about it by Emile Sande.
20.Subhanallah by Sreeram. ** ** **
21.Titli by Gopi Sunder and Chinmaya Sripaada.** **
22.Tu Jaane na by Atif Aslam. ** ** **
23.Yahan Vahan by Farhan Akhtar.**** .

And the list continues……..

LIFE…. what is its true meaning.

A new day dawns only when the night is over

This is the story of my life, no seriously, all this time, my life was meaningless, now today i realise what actually gives meaning to life. There are 5 things needed in life which are :
1. Morals .
2. Passion .
3. Self Confidence .
4. Conscience .
5. Ability to lose .

A human being has all these in him or her, but due to a lot of reasons are never able to overcome struggles.

Morals are needed to guide one on the best path, honesty, care, generosity,truthfulness, etcetra etcetra.

Passion, is important, the drive to do something,

Oh so that ‘s what my mathematics subject needed.

Passion if not there makes one lazy, unpredictable, confused, disturbed, and unhappy with ones life.
Passion makes one live life with the enthusiasm needed.

Self confidence is one which reduces every time, there is failure or bad circumstances around . One must never lose self confidence.

Conscience, your inner voice which creates fear in you, making you adhere to the right path. Follow the right path ,which though makes you struggle initially but finally succeed.

Losing , well nobody wants to lose ,but sometimes to win the war, a battle must be lost, or to win one must learn to lose properly. ūüôā

This is simply what life wants from us, or what we need in life .

Na Tum Jaano Na Hum, a song from Kaho na … Pyaar hai.


Kyon Chalti Hai Pavan
Kyon Jhoome Hai Gagan
Kyon Machalta Hai Mann
Na Tum Jaano Na Hum
Na Tum Jaano Na Hum

Why does the wind blow,
why the sky dances,
why the heart grizzles,
neither you know, nor do I..

Kyun Aati Hai Bahaar
Kyun Lut-ta Hai Karaar
Kyun Hota Hai Pyaar
Na Tum Jaano Na Hum
Na Tum Jaano Na Hum

why does the spring come,
why the peace of heart get robbed,
why does one fall in love,
neither you know, nor do I..

Ye Madhoshiyaan Ye Tanhaiyaan
Tasavvur Mein Hain Kis ki Parchhaiyaan
Ye Bheega SamaaN Umangein JawaaN
Mujhe Ishq Le Ja Raha Hai KahaaN
Kyon Ghum Hai Har Disha
Kyon Hota Hai Nasha
Kyon Aata Hai Mazaa
Na Tum Jaano Na Hum
Na Tum Jaano Na Hum

These intoxications, this loneliness,
whose images are there in thoughts?
This dewy weather, this enthusiasm,

where is love taking me?
Why is eveyr direction lost,
why do I feel intoxicated,
why is there so much fun,
neither you know, nor do I..

Dhadakta Bhi Hai Tadapta Bhi Hai
Ye Dil Kyon Achaanak Behekta Bhi Hai
Mehekta Bhi Hai
Chehekta Bhi Hai
Ye Dil Kya Vafa Ko Samajhta Bhi Hai
Kyon Milti Hain Nazar
Kyon Hota Hai Asar
Kyon Hoti Hai Sahar
Na Tum Jaano Na Hum
Na Tum Jaano Na Hum
It beats, it agonizes,
why does the heart suddenly sway too?
it’s fragrant,
it’s tweeting-chirping,
does the heart actually understand love?
why do eyes meet,
why is there an effect,
why is there a morning,
neither you know, nor do I..

” Pocahontas : Colours of the wind ” sung By Ashanti, ft Shi Shi

“Colors Of The Wind”
(feat. Shi Shi)

You think you own whatever land you land on
The earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name
You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or ask the grinning bob cat why he grins

Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind

[Shi Shi]
Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sun-sweet berries of the earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once never wonder what they’re worth
The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle of a hoop that never ends

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or let the eagle tell you where he’s been
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain

Can you paint with all the colors of the wind
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind
How high does the sycamore grow
If you cut it down then you’ll never know
And you’ll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or copper skinned

We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind
You can own the earth and still
All you own is earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

This  song is an amazing song, it  touches my heart every time

Certain Discoveries made today



1. My friends might not be actually my own friends, guess Mr . Atiiga was right, i have no friends  .
2. I expect too much from others, guess now the phrase : ” give much more than you can but expect nothing more ” .
3. I ‘ll never expect too much from anybody ever!  .
4. Remember to watch your back.always no one will watch it for you if you don’t.
5. Forget outsiders no one in your own family will sacrifice anything for you but your parents.
6. True love exists !  ,but only for those lucky enough.
7 . Never give up on someone you cannot live a day without.
8 . Never let anyone, even yourself, get in the way of your dreams.