The Year 2014

 

The year 2014 has been a very different one for me , a lot of things have happened to me . in some ways i have learned a lot for my self . Matured in some ways ,though i have been a mean person in some ways , i learned my lessons from my numerous mistakes .

lets go back ,many months 

January 

I realized i had exams in April , started studying like a mad person.

February 

I can’t really fathom what it was .

March

April

End of high school examinations , left school .

May June July 

stayed at home

applied to university

August 

started writing novel : Tania

September

birth month , aged .

continued writing

gained admission to Medical college

15 th started college ( PBL-System)

hostel , room-mates ; one: good, the other: creepy

Boring lectures ( we do one year pre-study ,Medical physics, cell structure and function ,Medical Genetics , Communication skills , cultural study , Chemistry )

September -December 

Lectures

work

hostel

December

realizations

regrets

Resolutions

happy thoughts now , all round .

dd

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Life Changes Now.

Once upon a time, there was an individual as talented as one could get.
And then she was shut up and prevented from reaching her goals by binding her mind up, horrible parenting ,pride ,ego, and a bad family.
She decided to go up against all odds  ,obey before complaining  ,yet forming a plan for herself on the way.

Health
Sleep
Study
Revise
Study
Health
Sleep

Socialisation :minimum
Talk :less
No more jokes.

Today 28th December 2014
Change for my future.
Transformation
Nidzy Golde into Nidhi  ,just Nidhi, nothing in my way, no surname, no Boys, no Galfriends, no one .at all.

Decision made.

Lyrics : Qué Pasa?

My life ‘s a strange place , I know its true
There ‘s no place for someone new,
I cry , alone,
There ‘s no way someone ‘ll save me
I sometimes wish someone ‘ll come by, and say

Qué  Pasa?  I ‘m here for you
Qué Pasa? Mi courazón .
Qué Pasa? Mi courazón, I love you too.
Qué Pasa? Mi courazón .

My life ‘s a mess, i know its true
But if only someone could be here
Just saying

Qué  Pasa?  I ‘m here for you
Qué Pasa? Mi courazón .
Qué Pasa? Mi courazón, I love you too.
Qué Pasa? Mi courazón .

Lyrics : Never Mine

You were never mine

You were always not who you said you were

I was never yours, yours, yours

Yet you always had to come in the way of our love.

You were never mine
You were always never mine
You wanted to be
But you came in my love story

Cuz there was already a him for her years ago

You were never mine

You were not always who you said you were

I was never yours yours yours

Yet you always had to come in the way of our love.

You were never mine
You were always never mine
You wanted to be
But you came in my love story

You will never be mine
Cuz you were never mine
And he was there before you
He is mine for life
And you re going on….
And you re going on…

Yet you always had to come in the way of our love.

You were never mine
You were always never mine
You wanted to be
But you came in my love story

(Vocalising)

You were never mine
I was never yours
He was and is always mine to be
I will love you too but i still love him
And he loves me too ,more  than i can ever know

Yet you always had to come in the way of our love.

You were never mine
You were always never mine
You wanted to be
But you came in my love story

©Payal Golde
All Rights Reserved

Retrospect of life…..

In my life … i have always made the wrong choices. I still do though. I make my friends my enemies and make my enemies my friends .

I never understood the real friend concept. Because i never make any. Ever.

Suicidal tendencies are imminent. But all i do now is consider my options,
1. Pout and keep on my mask  . Let go of everyone.
2. Accept myself the way i am. Let go of my pride, and be humbled. Keep my friends . 

Option one is easy to follow but its the wrong path.
Option two is very difficult, and the right thing to do  .
I’ll go with number 2.

How To Move On …..

Time has come and time will tell,
The woes that have been endured
So i wait for that day

Life is strange, in a flash,it ends up healing wounds left behind by the heartaches of yesterday.
In hope of a new day, move on from the impossible, for a better future awaits you.
Live for tommorow, and wait for tommorow to dawn, it shall be the brightest and happiest dawn for you.
Its the best to get over the past and move on.

How to move on

Destroy all traces of the said person/object.

Go for yoga.

Put all energy into doing productive work, go work out, do volunteer work  , help gather money for charity, hang out at an old age home, talk to people.

Hang out with friends who understand you.

Pray, prayer can do miracles 🙂

Do something for someone in need ( try making someone ‘s day)

Work Math :-p ( Yes ,as crazy as this sounds, try learning Calculus or Trignometry ,you might .. forget your own name .)

Do Gardening ( Planting trees ,or flowers never hurt anyone)