Realising how lonely school can be

“HELLO Class !!” the voice of our instructor broke my epiphany , as I started getting my thoughts in order I arched my back into the curved slump that I usually sit in. I glanced at the students in the lab and started off in my train of thoughts.   
The class was filled with high achievers. People who spend almost all their time studying. All their energy on studying , people who actually know more than I do . People I have to compete with ….
“As proteins……” Wait what did Dr. H’s minion just say? I started to pay attention.
Testing of proteins. Very interesting practical. Yet due to the lack of water in the laboratory , we were attending a lecture instead. 
Then out of nowhere I almost get knocked off my stool by a person trying to move around the crowded laboratory , I turned and swallowed my complaint almost immediately , that was Dr. H !!.
Thank heavens I didn’t say anything …….. that practical was going to be a long one .

Minion had us group ourselves into 8 groups. I was in group 7 , with 12 others. Gideon , Roger , Patience , Among others . We were asked to keep our phones aside and complete a group exercise. Amino acids. Peptide bonds. Test for proteins. Some stuff on the practical which we were not able to do and a question we were all clueless about. Gideon and others immediately started using their tablets and mobiles to research . I was outraged but instead picked my phone and used the dictionary app to do my part of the research .

Other groups were also cheating …. The whole practical room was buzzing with cheating and chatter even though there was the supervisor and his minion looking out for any cheating .

That was a long practical .Really boring ,and tiring as it occured around a little past noon , with an early harmattan sun .

That afternoon I realised how lonely school is, everybody works for themselves. Nobody cares about the other. They just pretend to care and pretend to help.

This world is really a lonely one.

Alone, Acceptance, Change, Resolutions.

Staying up late is not the best way to decide how miserable life has made you .
But the way my life has been going ,I’m beginning to question every single thing I’ve done all throughout my life.
Its not depression, but at the same time its not pleasant either, my only regret is that I cannot change what I’ve done and cannot do what I want to .

For the past 6 weeks, I’ve been avoiding a feeling, denying the signs, and falsely keeping myself away from myself . But for me. That’s what my life will be till I die .

Right now. Do whatever my parents want me to , avoid what makes me live , laugh and feel .
Later on,  marry someone who my parents will approve of. Then follow his damn rules and that of his family till I die. Maybe that’s what I m destined for , what every average Indian girl is destined to become .

Sometimes I feel tied down, suppressed, then , in the other aspects of my life ;
  I can go on being that talkative girl who keeps chattering on about nothing. The girl that keeps bothering everyone. Teasing everybody , just bothering anybody at all .
   I can keep on being told off for being rude when I’m upset (as nobody can tell until I through fits) .
  Keep apologising because other people are too proud to stand the bitchy friend who is pissed and won’t bother to ask why .

Sometimes its alone when nobody understands you , when nobody knows what you go through each day, what it takes to go through a day without thinking how helplessly chained one can be .

Its a war each day between every alter ego I ve created. The studious one. The show.  The sensitive one , and the Happy-go-lucky one .

As a student. A daughter . A true self, and the alternate person who should be me . its a war in there ,sometimes its easier not to live for somebody.

But what can I do ? My soul is too competitive to let me just go drink some insecticide. Or jump off a building. Or just cut a wrist.

I keep living …..

Maybe just to make my parents life a little easier. Because they are doing much more than any normal person would for their kids . I may one day really leave their principles behind to go find me. But I cannot see them unhappy .
Or that a part of me knows that they really care. I cannot disappoint them at all .

I have accepted this of my life. I do feel alone , in the crowd. The circle of people , I feel like crying ( maybe it’s just my nervous system making me want to feel better.) .

But there’s a middle way.

I can do what makes me happy but doesn’t go against my parent’s principles . Like helping people , being actually nice to people, making others smile , actually noticing the wonders of the world.

Little things that make you feel good can be a fill-in for the actual thing you want that will make you happy .
 

Happy Birthday Tom Felton

I never thought I’d ever dedicate a blog post to a person who played the meanest Slytherin in Harry’s year ,but let’s just say I have really taken a liking to Tom.

I have read articles that have mentioned that quite unlike his onscreen portrayal of a sick bully like Draco Malfoy,  Tom Felton has always been against bullying.
Tom Felton is also one of the most good looking actors of his age.

A fan has praised him by saying :

“Tom is a
real nice, professional young man, always happy, smiling,
laughing, full of power — a real gentleman.”

Tom has also played the character Simon in the
2009 horror/thriller movie The Disappeared .

On 12 November 2008, Felton appeared alongside Jack
Osbourne on Adrenaline Junkie as he participated in
various challenges in South African, including a 200ft
bungee jump on Bloukrans Bridge, took a ride in a
helicopter, followed by a parachute freefall and came
face-to-face with Great White sharks.

Tom had a cameo role in Get Him to the Greek , released
on 4 June 2010.  In February 2010, he was cast in the
thriller film The Apparition .

Tom also portrays the human
character Dodge Landon in the 2011 science-fiction film
Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

On 18 March 2011, Felton appeared in a comedy sketch on Red Nose Day 2011 alongside James Corden , Rupert
Grint , George Michael, Justin Bieber , Paul McCartney , Ringo Starr, Gordon Brown MP , Professor Robert Winston
and Keira Knightley .

Today is his Birthday. My message to him is ;

Dear Tom,  thank you so much  for existing , if you hadn’t been Draco  , we can only Imagine what Draco would have been . Thank You for bringing to life on screen the character Draco  with all of your dedication .
You have been great, your fans love you.
Do keep entertaining us.
Sincerely .
Me.

References:

Wikipedia ; Tom Felton
Internet ,
Original writing.

New Life, New year, Taking lessons from Avatar : The Last Airbender.

A new year comes to me soon, believe you me.  I have a really strong feeling that this year will be full of change . I feel the universe changing colours around me .

And as scary that this might apparently look like, I have a new sense of hope, I feel the summer end to a new fall, but a fall like no other, a fall of colours, that now seem beautiful, red, orange, brown, and windy, a stormy fall which ‘ll bring more maturity, sense , and tranquillity .

I feel like Zuko of the Fire nation, letting go of pride, and a dream that ‘ll never be true, for destiny has another path. I feel lighter and more determined than I have ever felt in my entire existence. I have a newer path, now i know what my destiny shall be.
Just like Prince Zuko realised his destiny was to bring peace between an entire nation and the rest of Avatar universe.

I ‘ve realised now, that i am not somebody who has happy relationships , be it Love , a Lover , A best friend, or even Family.

I accept what my destiny is, and now i shall shape it . Just as i would like it to be. Some destinies are to be shaped ,while others are set in stone  .

Just like Katara was able to become a water-bending master in such a short time, with fierce determination and hard work.

I believe that with fierce determination and hard work i can be successful in anything i put my mind to

I think everyone can learn from Aang and the gang.

Tof never gave up on earth bending even though she was blind.  She became the first metal-bender, teaching Aang how to use vibrations in the earth to bend better than any other. She had two wonderful daughters . Both Metal-benders . She was able to help “Twinkle-toes” over two of his lifetimes.

Katara did not take no for an answer from a teacher who insisted that girls do not learn water – bending and would not teach her  , even becoming a master herself, eventually becoming the Avatar ‘s teacher . She made friends with many people  , she also become a mother to three wonderful benders, : Tenzin, Kaya and Bumie. Even helping Aang in his next lifetime as best as she could. She was able to blood-bend too.

Sokka never let the fact that he was a non-bender make him any less a warrior, he learnt swordsmanship from a man who was adamant not to take any new students ,he also strived to make humour his ally in many situations, Sokka was a great tracker and mystery solver, he solved many such cases in the length of the show. He is a great brother, friend and Warrior.

Prince Zuko ,an individual i connect with so well, he was not a perfect child, not a perfect friend, he struggled his whole childhood and adolescence to fit in, he was able to give up his presumed destiny of capturing Aang, and choosing to become a better person and not let life tell him what to do. He was able to learn the dance of the dragons, dance with the masters, get one as his guide, and teach Aang Fire-bending, and realise that fire is not just destruction but also life. Zuko not only created a whole new life for himself, he had the courage to stand up to a society that was doing wrong. Zuko become a different person and created history, by becoming a new fire-lord who led the fire-nation to peace and diplomatic relations with the other nations. And become the best friend of Aang. He stayed best friends with the Avatar over two lifetimes.

Avatar Aang become the  youngest Avatar to master all four elements, he set a standard for all future Avatars. He was kind, and valued life, yet living like a humble monk ,with great bending-abilities.  He was able to learn how to take bending away from horrible people.

The two faces of Her.

image

Deep within her soul, she yearns for another

Yet in front of the universe, she puts on a show

She lives for herself in her dreams, yet hides her colours under cloaks of ashen grey

She looks calm and peaceful, yet underneath she ‘s a stormy sea

She weaves a web, a web of disguise.

Two lives she lives, two people she is.

One who ‘s her and another she hides behind.

True her ,is a person yearning for half of herself, the half she ‘s never met ,seen or heard of.

The untrue her is a lie, a confident, bubbly , talkative, strong shield, who does not need her other half.

The true her wants roots, to keep her steady, to be the earth, stubborn and thriving in all weather.

The untrue her wishes for friends and audience, to put on a show, a show of strength, of traits the true her boasts not but possesses.

The Disguise she wears is of a happy-go-lucky.

But once its off she yearns for a successful life, a dream she holds, she desires her other half, but wishes to be a successful ,strong, independent human being.

She is an individual with latent qualities, but the Show is always a success.

An Angel is born …. : -)

It was an early morning in August, a child was being born ……

A young baby girl, with inquisitive eyes, and intelligent glances was born.

It was 12th August 2001 , a young Mishti was born  ,

Today , many years later, i see how blessed that day was.

During that time, I had no idea how lucky i was to have a younger sibling such as Mishti …

She has proven to be a delightful baby,  a bubbly toddler, a cute infant,  a hardworking student,  an obedient daughter  , a wonderful human being and most importantly, a caring and amazing sibling , whom i would cherish as long as i shall live .

She means very much to me… and i would say apart from my parents, i love her most ….

Today is her 14th Birthday, and i thank the creator for a wonderful Sister and my most cherished gift in this world ….

A zillion thanks to The Creator …..

Life advices for those of the 21st century.

1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool🏊. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message📱.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck💵.

5. Always use “we” when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. DON’T underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE🏇.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns🔫 are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation from your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good it is.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your haircut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes👟, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have right of way, TAKE IT.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry, live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in great luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday, It’s her special day too.

47. When opening presents🎁, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take Blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the 🚍bus driver.

60. Never answer the 📞phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boyfriend/girlfriend’s clothes.💯

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just take your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately. Come grade time it might come in handy.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for 9 months.🆗

78. Be patient with airport security. They are just doing their job.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.🆒

81. You are what you do. Not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.🆗

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.🚮

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest of fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before or after 9 AM🕘 and 9PM.🕘

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear👠 heels on the first date commit to keeping them on and toning down how much your feet kill.🙍

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make Goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.:D

100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.